You might be like me and at one point or another in your life you may have said out loud or in your heart, "It's not fair! Why does he/she always get to _________?" *note- fill in the blank according to your situation.
Maybe it's on a physical, intellectual, spiritual, or even on a sibling rivalry level ("why does she get more food than me?!". I feel terribly bad for my mom who put up with our constant complaining about one another). Either way deep down this question that we ask ourselves when we look at others and in some way compare, I feel comes out of a place of insecurity.
There is pressure in our society to be the best. As a result, we like to stand metaphorically next others and see how we measure up. Am I better? Better looking? Braver? Smarter? Richer? Faster? Furthest spitter ? (again with the sibling rivalry people...it's a serious thing). Out of our place of insecurity, we are hoping that by comparing and obtaining positive opinions of those around you and the answer being "yes I am better" it will make you feel better about yourself. But if some how you find that the answer is "no", heaven forbid anyone find out the jealousy you now have or even the self loathing you feel about yourself because your not "good enough". Is anyone feeling what I'm saying right now?
But why on God's green Earth do we need to compare ourselves to others and feel a sense of value when we are productive, advancing, and supposedly the "best"? Thats the thing...we don't.Don't get me wrong your efforts and hard work in whatever area of your life you are putting fourth should be applauded, but is that as far as your value goes?
We...YOU are an individual created in the image and likeness of God. He placed an unique soul, gifts, callings, longings, burdens, and abilities in you along with a personality all wrapped up in what is currently your human body to make what is you, you. When someone such as your lovely self tries to compare, you wont quite measure up. Why? Because you are using the wrong ruler (other people) to find your value and even your quality! People are in reality imperfect, but there is only One who sees rightly into your heart and everything that you are. He sees you not just as good, but as "very good". Oh, how valuable does that make you not only to God, but to the rest of the world, even if others don't see it, notice it, or acknowledge it?
You are the apple of God's eye and He loves you for you. So don't feel jipped by God or insecure when you look at other people and see their success, their popularity, or their skill sets you wished you had. Instead, rejoice that someone you know is moving forward in God's plan for their life and more importantly ask Him personally what is it He has placed in you that He loves and that makes you special. Find your wholeness in Him...You just may find you also have an honored part to play in God's purpose.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
Just as I am
I was sitting this morning having my morning devotions and realized that I could not focus. Each word I read turned into another thought. I was listening to worship music and really wanted to get up and dance. And I found myslef saying, "God help me to sit here and focus".
I felt like in that moment God reminded me how each person is individual, unique, and creative. It began to make me really question, "What is it then God that you really expect when I spend time with you? Do you expect a quiet pious sitting person?" Maybe sometimes. Maybe sometimes He expects the quieting of our souls , to be still in His presence. But not always.
God is not the old librarian in between a pile of dusty books or the uptight profressor during a test telling you to "shush" all the time. Sadly, for so many people (including myself at one point) this is how they view God:sit down, read your Word,and shut up= happy God and successful spiritual walk. No wonder so many of us are bored with our relationship with God! Maybe what God really desires is for us to be who He has made us to be.
I have some missionary friends whose son is ALWAYS outside. He rolls around in the dirt,talks to the animals, climbs trees, and cries when he has to come in to eat or take a bath. This is just how God made him, an outdoor nature boy. So what about this boy? Is his encounter with God limited to how long he can sit and pray within the day? By no means! Maybe that boy was made to encounter his Heavenly Father the closest in nature exploring, discovering, and uncovering God's creation.
Maybe God made you to dance or to bake or to swim or to do all the things He put a passion and a gifting in your heart to do because it brings Him the most worship and the most glory when you do it. And maybe all these things were meant to be done in tangent with Him. Some of my biggest moments of revelation and lessons from God didn't neccessarily come from sitting in my reading chair locked in my room (oh, though I do love spending time with Jesus in that spot!). Revelation and relationship can come from a place of continually abiding in Christ while having freedom to be who God has made you to be. A Christ filled life looks the way God wants it to, not what others expect you to look like or be.
As Paul would instruct the early church, so do I do to you, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thes. 5:16-18). Do such things in a genuine manner that God has created you to do so in.
I felt like in that moment God reminded me how each person is individual, unique, and creative. It began to make me really question, "What is it then God that you really expect when I spend time with you? Do you expect a quiet pious sitting person?" Maybe sometimes. Maybe sometimes He expects the quieting of our souls , to be still in His presence. But not always.
God is not the old librarian in between a pile of dusty books or the uptight profressor during a test telling you to "shush" all the time. Sadly, for so many people (including myself at one point) this is how they view God:sit down, read your Word,and shut up= happy God and successful spiritual walk. No wonder so many of us are bored with our relationship with God! Maybe what God really desires is for us to be who He has made us to be.
I have some missionary friends whose son is ALWAYS outside. He rolls around in the dirt,talks to the animals, climbs trees, and cries when he has to come in to eat or take a bath. This is just how God made him, an outdoor nature boy. So what about this boy? Is his encounter with God limited to how long he can sit and pray within the day? By no means! Maybe that boy was made to encounter his Heavenly Father the closest in nature exploring, discovering, and uncovering God's creation.
Maybe God made you to dance or to bake or to swim or to do all the things He put a passion and a gifting in your heart to do because it brings Him the most worship and the most glory when you do it. And maybe all these things were meant to be done in tangent with Him. Some of my biggest moments of revelation and lessons from God didn't neccessarily come from sitting in my reading chair locked in my room (oh, though I do love spending time with Jesus in that spot!). Revelation and relationship can come from a place of continually abiding in Christ while having freedom to be who God has made you to be. A Christ filled life looks the way God wants it to, not what others expect you to look like or be.
As Paul would instruct the early church, so do I do to you, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thes. 5:16-18). Do such things in a genuine manner that God has created you to do so in.
Friday, June 21, 2013
He just loves
“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
I have been struggling with God of wishing and wanting to do more and be more. But in this chapter in my life coming to a close, I realize that God has had me actually where He wants me as He has revealed Himself in so many ways to me. He has shown me how He is a good father and how He doesn't just want me to see Him as the one I work for or under. He wanted me and still wants me to enjoy fellowship and relationship with Him. He's first an intimate friend, second colaborer. But I often want the to labor to prove I am worthy of the intimacy when God so willingly wants to give Himself to me. And the reality of that still offends my mind. That He doesn't want anything from me, but just loves me..that completly contradicts what love had been to me in the past: give and take. In His love that just gives, I have been able to overflow in love for Him and for others. I am burdened with love for the people I desire to minister to much more than I had before because God has touched my heart. Something I didn't attain for the people of this country until this year, though a year of ministry, but also waiting and allowing God to fill me with His love and me not striving to do, to work, or to love others.
He is my God and I am just His Melissa...there is no way I can change His mind or heart about what He feels for me. I can just receive His love.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Dreaming with God
Dreaming with God is such an amazing gift. Not just goals for the future that you believe you will attain, but the seemingly impossible deep desires of your heart that are given by God and can only be fulfilled by Him.
The question has arisen several times in my heart, "What do you dream of?". A scary question to someone who thought what God always expected to hear was the reply, "Whatever you want God." But the reality is though God desires my obedience, He is not in want of a puppet. He made me unique and wants a relationship with me and wants someone to co-labor with Him. Genesis 2:19 says, "Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name". God was and is perfectly capable of creating and giving names to the animals, but he gave that job to Adam. He allowed someone to create with Him. He allowed someone to dream with Him.We who are also made in the image of a creative God were designed to create as well.
So many times I would take the dreams and desires of my heart and so often shove them away when in fact most of them were inspired by God in the first place. Realizing this, I have began to look at Psalm 37:4 that says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" in a different light. Perhaps it is not trying to say if you play your cards right with God, you finally get what you want. Or even congratulations, that thing you never really desired has secretly been dropped into your heart and God is going to give it to you. No, I don't think that's it. I think when Scripture says when we delight ourselves in Him or in other words have deep focused relationship with Him that the very parts of our hearts that He created come fully alive. I like the way Mike Bickle explains it. "There’s a reason you feel a pure sense of pleasure when you do certain things. Perhaps they are the things you were truly made to do... God placed those desires in their hearts and when they express them, He draws especially near to them. God intimately knows what is in each of us. He totally comprehends the passions that He specifically designed for our hearts. When we express them, He has joy in His heart, and He means for us to experience some of this joy."
I know that dreaming with a creative God sets hope in my heart for what is to come in my walk with Him. I have began to keep a dream journal not just of what God speaks in the night, but what He has and will lay on my heart in the day. With these visions written out, I find encouragement because I know I can not fail in pursuing this vision when I am working with the One who finds nothing impossible. So dream on brothers and sisters!
The question has arisen several times in my heart, "What do you dream of?". A scary question to someone who thought what God always expected to hear was the reply, "Whatever you want God." But the reality is though God desires my obedience, He is not in want of a puppet. He made me unique and wants a relationship with me and wants someone to co-labor with Him. Genesis 2:19 says, "Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name". God was and is perfectly capable of creating and giving names to the animals, but he gave that job to Adam. He allowed someone to create with Him. He allowed someone to dream with Him.We who are also made in the image of a creative God were designed to create as well.
So many times I would take the dreams and desires of my heart and so often shove them away when in fact most of them were inspired by God in the first place. Realizing this, I have began to look at Psalm 37:4 that says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" in a different light. Perhaps it is not trying to say if you play your cards right with God, you finally get what you want. Or even congratulations, that thing you never really desired has secretly been dropped into your heart and God is going to give it to you. No, I don't think that's it. I think when Scripture says when we delight ourselves in Him or in other words have deep focused relationship with Him that the very parts of our hearts that He created come fully alive. I like the way Mike Bickle explains it. "There’s a reason you feel a pure sense of pleasure when you do certain things. Perhaps they are the things you were truly made to do... God placed those desires in their hearts and when they express them, He draws especially near to them. God intimately knows what is in each of us. He totally comprehends the passions that He specifically designed for our hearts. When we express them, He has joy in His heart, and He means for us to experience some of this joy."
I know that dreaming with a creative God sets hope in my heart for what is to come in my walk with Him. I have began to keep a dream journal not just of what God speaks in the night, but what He has and will lay on my heart in the day. With these visions written out, I find encouragement because I know I can not fail in pursuing this vision when I am working with the One who finds nothing impossible. So dream on brothers and sisters!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Fix Your Eyes on Jesus
"Turn your eyes toward Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of glory and grace" Helen H. Lemmel
There are some seasons of our lives that are easier than others. Either way Christ is with us.
About this time last year, I found myself so excited for what God had for me and so deeply in love with Jesus that I found myself confessing, "It doesnt matter what happens, where you take me, or what I have to sacrifice... I will follow you!". Though these words were true, I didnt think that He would actually act upon it.
Fast forward a few months later and He took my confession dead serious as I found myself on a plane Tanzania bound and I would not return until a whole year later...the longest I have ever been away from home, my family, my friends, and my familiar American lifestyle. If I could be honest, I knew and still know that God would provide for me as He already provided the money for the plane ticket, a place to stay, and funds for the trip. But I doubted that He would provide what I needed the most, His presence. This was coming from a place of insecurity after my previous months of not hearing from the Lord the same way I had when I first started walking with Him.
When I got here, I found that though my intent was to pour out and do ministry, the Lord wanted to slow me down and heal me of my past hurts. And I really wish I could say that every moment of it I was obedient and was continually praising Him.Yeah... not quite. Some moments I was mad and said things in sarcasm and bitterness to Him. Things like "Gee..thanks God...Ya dragged me here and now in this moment of my life where are you now?". There were other moments where I was exhausted from the day, defeated from the personal healing I had been dealing with, and had little sleep from the night before because of spiritual warfare. Those moments I would just sit down to pray absolutely indifferent and want to give up. I know, really pathetic.
But the amazing thing is God would and continues to redeem every single one of those moments. The moments I doubt Him and if He really called me here, He would bring about a way of confirmation that I am supposed to be here by using me in a powerful way or setting up divine appointments. And He would ALWAYS find ways to encourage me in the day through the gentle whisper of His Spirit to my heart or an encouraging word from someone else that was all to timely and perfect.
Whether God calls me into another season similar to the one I have just walked through or He should call me into a completly unique season, I walk in the fact that He is faithful. I walk not by what it feels like, but by faith. And the reality is it took those times of difficulty as means to creat a foundation to build upon my mountain of testimony upon testimony. It is a way for God to prove what He has promised He will complete in me. He is and always will be my Rock. Unlike any person I have ever known, He will never change.
If you find yourself in a similar season to one I have had, keep pressing in. God is closer than you think, ready to show Himself strong and faithful. What He is drawing out of you is something too glorious and wonderful for words. This too shall pass, but until that time keep your gaze on Jesus.
Melissa
There are some seasons of our lives that are easier than others. Either way Christ is with us.
About this time last year, I found myself so excited for what God had for me and so deeply in love with Jesus that I found myself confessing, "It doesnt matter what happens, where you take me, or what I have to sacrifice... I will follow you!". Though these words were true, I didnt think that He would actually act upon it.
Fast forward a few months later and He took my confession dead serious as I found myself on a plane Tanzania bound and I would not return until a whole year later...the longest I have ever been away from home, my family, my friends, and my familiar American lifestyle. If I could be honest, I knew and still know that God would provide for me as He already provided the money for the plane ticket, a place to stay, and funds for the trip. But I doubted that He would provide what I needed the most, His presence. This was coming from a place of insecurity after my previous months of not hearing from the Lord the same way I had when I first started walking with Him.
When I got here, I found that though my intent was to pour out and do ministry, the Lord wanted to slow me down and heal me of my past hurts. And I really wish I could say that every moment of it I was obedient and was continually praising Him.Yeah... not quite. Some moments I was mad and said things in sarcasm and bitterness to Him. Things like "Gee..thanks God...Ya dragged me here and now in this moment of my life where are you now?". There were other moments where I was exhausted from the day, defeated from the personal healing I had been dealing with, and had little sleep from the night before because of spiritual warfare. Those moments I would just sit down to pray absolutely indifferent and want to give up. I know, really pathetic.
But the amazing thing is God would and continues to redeem every single one of those moments. The moments I doubt Him and if He really called me here, He would bring about a way of confirmation that I am supposed to be here by using me in a powerful way or setting up divine appointments. And He would ALWAYS find ways to encourage me in the day through the gentle whisper of His Spirit to my heart or an encouraging word from someone else that was all to timely and perfect.
Whether God calls me into another season similar to the one I have just walked through or He should call me into a completly unique season, I walk in the fact that He is faithful. I walk not by what it feels like, but by faith. And the reality is it took those times of difficulty as means to creat a foundation to build upon my mountain of testimony upon testimony. It is a way for God to prove what He has promised He will complete in me. He is and always will be my Rock. Unlike any person I have ever known, He will never change.
If you find yourself in a similar season to one I have had, keep pressing in. God is closer than you think, ready to show Himself strong and faithful. What He is drawing out of you is something too glorious and wonderful for words. This too shall pass, but until that time keep your gaze on Jesus.
Melissa
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Just thinking...
And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21 ESV)
The Lord challenged me this morning when he began to ask if I really love and desire him. Such an odd season of my life it has been, as I have not been encountering Him as strongly as before. His presence I know is still with me, but I don't feel him or hear him the same way. I have faced resistance and spending time with God means having to dig a little deeper while fighting to protect moments with Him is all too common now.
So I pondered the question briefly and responded to His question. Much like Peter's response I simply answered, "Yes Lord I love you". But there was something else this morning that He began to ask me that troubled me. "Do you love me more than these?". I knew in my heart what my Lord speaks of when He says "these". I look at my room and all the things within it. I think of my friends and my family. I think of my very health. The question came again, "Do you love ME more than THESE?".
I hanged my head low to find that I really did not have an honest answer for Him. I know the right answer, the Sunday school answer, the self righteous, 'holier than thou' answer. But the real and truthful answer for the one who sees my heart did not come. Instead, my heart began to overflow with questions: Do I love Him for what He has done for me or for who He is in my life? If I were to lose everything, even my health, and I was made very low would I still love Him? Would I yet praise Him in my despair and destitution?
With my heart humbled I respond to Him with the honest answer? "Lord, you know I love you. Whether you take away or whether I freely give these things to you, help my heart to follow you in obedience. May I overflow in thankfulness knowing these things will fade away, but you will remain forever".
I pray these words please Him as I truly count the cost of following Him.
The Lord challenged me this morning when he began to ask if I really love and desire him. Such an odd season of my life it has been, as I have not been encountering Him as strongly as before. His presence I know is still with me, but I don't feel him or hear him the same way. I have faced resistance and spending time with God means having to dig a little deeper while fighting to protect moments with Him is all too common now.
So I pondered the question briefly and responded to His question. Much like Peter's response I simply answered, "Yes Lord I love you". But there was something else this morning that He began to ask me that troubled me. "Do you love me more than these?". I knew in my heart what my Lord speaks of when He says "these". I look at my room and all the things within it. I think of my friends and my family. I think of my very health. The question came again, "Do you love ME more than THESE?".
I hanged my head low to find that I really did not have an honest answer for Him. I know the right answer, the Sunday school answer, the self righteous, 'holier than thou' answer. But the real and truthful answer for the one who sees my heart did not come. Instead, my heart began to overflow with questions: Do I love Him for what He has done for me or for who He is in my life? If I were to lose everything, even my health, and I was made very low would I still love Him? Would I yet praise Him in my despair and destitution?
With my heart humbled I respond to Him with the honest answer? "Lord, you know I love you. Whether you take away or whether I freely give these things to you, help my heart to follow you in obedience. May I overflow in thankfulness knowing these things will fade away, but you will remain forever".
I pray these words please Him as I truly count the cost of following Him.
Monday, August 2, 2010
A Beautiful Garden
Tonight I was looking through my journal that I wrote in for Texas and India. I was reading through about what happened at comissioning night (the night we are sent out as missionaries).
God reminded me of a prayer that one of the leaders prayed over me. He said "God you have been planting so many seeds inside Melissa. You have been doing so much with her this past year. All these seeds that You have planted will turn into beautiful flowers. When they finally bloom Lord, everyone will behold your glory and say "Look at what God has done! Look at how beautiful God has made Melissa".
This prayer reminded me that God is continually working on me.. I am in some sense His garden and He will plant, grow, weed, cultivate, and water as He so pleases. My job is to allow God to work, to be obedient to Him, and to rid of myself daily while serving others. If I do this His word says "... the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail" Isaiah 58:11. I get Living Water every day to water the garden of my spirit allowing me to prosper and remain full.
How amazing is it I am all for the Lord and He enjoys working on me and spending time with me! He is building me into the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). And that day when Jesus returns or calls me home, I can be beautifully adorned for Him.
God reminded me of a prayer that one of the leaders prayed over me. He said "God you have been planting so many seeds inside Melissa. You have been doing so much with her this past year. All these seeds that You have planted will turn into beautiful flowers. When they finally bloom Lord, everyone will behold your glory and say "Look at what God has done! Look at how beautiful God has made Melissa".
This prayer reminded me that God is continually working on me.. I am in some sense His garden and He will plant, grow, weed, cultivate, and water as He so pleases. My job is to allow God to work, to be obedient to Him, and to rid of myself daily while serving others. If I do this His word says "... the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail" Isaiah 58:11. I get Living Water every day to water the garden of my spirit allowing me to prosper and remain full.
How amazing is it I am all for the Lord and He enjoys working on me and spending time with me! He is building me into the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). And that day when Jesus returns or calls me home, I can be beautifully adorned for Him.
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