And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21 ESV)
The Lord challenged me this morning when he began to ask if I really love and desire him. Such an odd season of my life it has been, as I have not been encountering Him as strongly as before. His presence I know is still with me, but I don't feel him or hear him the same way. I have faced resistance and spending time with God means having to dig a little deeper while fighting to protect moments with Him is all too common now.
So I pondered the question briefly and responded to His question. Much like Peter's response I simply answered, "Yes Lord I love you". But there was something else this morning that He began to ask me that troubled me. "Do you love me more than these?". I knew in my heart what my Lord speaks of when He says "these". I look at my room and all the things within it. I think of my friends and my family. I think of my very health. The question came again, "Do you love ME more than THESE?".
I hanged my head low to find that I really did not have an honest answer for Him. I know the right answer, the Sunday school answer, the self righteous, 'holier than thou' answer. But the real and truthful answer for the one who sees my heart did not come. Instead, my heart began to overflow with questions: Do I love Him for what He has done for me or for who He is in my life? If I were to lose everything, even my health, and I was made very low would I still love Him? Would I yet praise Him in my despair and destitution?
With my heart humbled I respond to Him with the honest answer? "Lord, you know I love you. Whether you take away or whether I freely give these things to you, help my heart to follow you in obedience. May I overflow in thankfulness knowing these things will fade away, but you will remain forever".
I pray these words please Him as I truly count the cost of following Him.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Monday, August 2, 2010
A Beautiful Garden
Tonight I was looking through my journal that I wrote in for Texas and India. I was reading through about what happened at comissioning night (the night we are sent out as missionaries).
God reminded me of a prayer that one of the leaders prayed over me. He said "God you have been planting so many seeds inside Melissa. You have been doing so much with her this past year. All these seeds that You have planted will turn into beautiful flowers. When they finally bloom Lord, everyone will behold your glory and say "Look at what God has done! Look at how beautiful God has made Melissa".
This prayer reminded me that God is continually working on me.. I am in some sense His garden and He will plant, grow, weed, cultivate, and water as He so pleases. My job is to allow God to work, to be obedient to Him, and to rid of myself daily while serving others. If I do this His word says "... the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail" Isaiah 58:11. I get Living Water every day to water the garden of my spirit allowing me to prosper and remain full.
How amazing is it I am all for the Lord and He enjoys working on me and spending time with me! He is building me into the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). And that day when Jesus returns or calls me home, I can be beautifully adorned for Him.
God reminded me of a prayer that one of the leaders prayed over me. He said "God you have been planting so many seeds inside Melissa. You have been doing so much with her this past year. All these seeds that You have planted will turn into beautiful flowers. When they finally bloom Lord, everyone will behold your glory and say "Look at what God has done! Look at how beautiful God has made Melissa".
This prayer reminded me that God is continually working on me.. I am in some sense His garden and He will plant, grow, weed, cultivate, and water as He so pleases. My job is to allow God to work, to be obedient to Him, and to rid of myself daily while serving others. If I do this His word says "... the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail" Isaiah 58:11. I get Living Water every day to water the garden of my spirit allowing me to prosper and remain full.
How amazing is it I am all for the Lord and He enjoys working on me and spending time with me! He is building me into the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). And that day when Jesus returns or calls me home, I can be beautifully adorned for Him.
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